How to be patient with my son?
A thoughtful article in the The Straits Times on 26 July 2006...
A mother has a 3-year-old son. He is good-natured, but sometimes, he doesn't obey her, and she becomes frustrated. She will then threaten to use the cane, and occassionally, do use it sparingly. She is aware that a child needs patience, care and love, and she is troubled by her lack of patience and tolerance towards her son. How could she manage herself better to better manage her son?
1. It is important that the mum recognises the problem lies with her, not the child. It is she who has to change her behavior, not the child.
2. It is normal that a child does not obey all the time. A 3-year-old child is starting to develop his autonomy and his own ideas, and learning to assert them.
3. Parents should not threaten a child with punishments that they cannot mete out. That will lower their credibility.
4. Ecourage the child to do the desired activity, rather than threaten him if he doesn't. Make the activity fun and engaging, so that the child will want to do it by his own volition.
5. Calm yourself down, especially on returning home from work, before engaging your child. Do not vent your frustration at work on your child.
6. To develop patience, educate yourself on child psychology.
7. Do not be a control freak. Learn to let go.
8. Build trust and respect into the relationship with your child. Be firm and warm. Have fun.
posted by little_mummy @ 9:20 AM
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1 Comments:
If your kid has ADHD... I doubt you'll be coping in that manner now... or can you? Attention span hits around 10-15 minutes per activity.
My nephew (now age 9) I assume is one of these types of children. He won't sit still for a minute, love disturbuing others (his younger brother (age 3) and sister (age 6) and everyone else that crosses his path). If his siblings are watching tv or playing some games/ toys, he'll want to fight over it. After getting what he wants, he stays with it for awhile and runs off to do other things.
Being able to be energetic enough to cope with this child is pretty unbearable at times, especially if one is stressed throughout the day and having this child pestering you all the way till he gets what he wants or gets scolded for not listening at most (and you see him throwing his tantrum or pulling a long face).
Yes, its not good to hit a child, or punish in a "barbaric" manner. However, knowing if he has ADHD, he needs more attention from both parents to help him control himself. But how far can they go?
Still this needs an answer.
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